Were you feeling a little stiff this morning? A coffee that is sure to “get men up” in the morning, is being recalled. FDA laboratory analysis allegedly confirmed that Kopi Jantan Tradisional Natural Herbs Coffee (strong man coffee) contains desmethyl carbodenafil. Desmethyl carbodenafil is structurally similar to sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, an FDA-approved […]
Ocala, Florida — The Marion County Sheriff’s Office is investigating after receiving multiple calls for service Thursday night in reference to an unknown person dressed like a clown. MCSO stated that the calls were for the area of Ocala Park Estates (OPE). Deputies, as well as Air-1 responded several times, but never located anyone suspicious. MCSO says […]
A woman arrived home Wednesday to find four Police Officers searching the inside of her house. The woman said the officers were “acting like lunatics.” She said she was embarrassed because the officers had even searched through her drawers and saw her Scooby-Doo underwear. The woman said, “They checked the air conditioner vents, inside […]
Keeping with the theme of Pine Street
Ocala, Florida — Ocala Police arrested a woman who exposed herself to people while she was standing in front of Champions BBQ on Pine Street. Witnesses from Champions BBQ told police that a woman, later identified as Denise R. Belflower, 34, was flashing and slapping her breasts at passerby in front of the business. At one point, Belflower got on the […]
Palm Beach County, Florida — Think law enforcement officials do not monitor social media? Think again. A woman from Jupiter, Florida, who calls herself “Goddess,” recently tweeted, “Somebody bring me weed. I’ll pay for it.” The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office then tweeted, “Where should we meet you?” The PBSO said that “Goddess” did not […]
Due to recent tensions between citizens and law enforcement; a new policy has taken place. [Please be aware the aforementioned video is intended for comedic purposes only. No such policy actually exists.]
Ocklawaha, Florida — On Sunday afternoon, a Marion County Sheriff’s deputy responded to the Boat Basin located at 9570 Northeast 28th Lane, in reference to a man, later identified as Craig Bierema, standing on the riverbank fully nude. According to a witness, he was traveling down the Ocklawaha River with his family when he saw […]
Yesterday, October 30, a psychopath escaped from the Warren County Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. It is believed the psychopath is in Haddonfield, Illinois. According to police, a convenient store was burglarized today and someone stole a rope, a couple of kitchen knives, and a white William Shatner mask. Some reports are saying a teenager, named Laurie […]
The Florida Gators football practices were suspended after a team member reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the field. Local police, federal investigators, and HAZMAT responded to the scene. After an analysis of the white powder, HAZMAT officials determined that the white substance unknown to the players was actually the goal line; […]